In bed, late at night,
I worry about the “what if” and “might”.
What if I didn’t pass that test?
I memorized some, but not the rest.
I might fail the class,
But then again I might pass.
I think I’m doing well,
But how can I really tell?
Asking the professor takes guts,
Then they’ll know about my “whats”.
If they know I’m worried,
Will my exams be hurried?
Will they judge me inadequate?
Will they just tell me to quit?
Quitting would be easy, but add more stress,
My job options would become less.
College is so difficult for me,
It will take more years than four to be free.
School is just a small part of my apprehension,
There are many other things that cause my tension.
“So Lucky I Have You”
I lay here, twitching in pain and listen.
I listen to you snore, listen to the dog snore, as my t
Falling down my face, my tears follow trails.
Trails marked by tears before them, accompanying my wails
But wail not now, I dare.
It’s too quiet, too raw, too bare.
I sob in silence, I can’t wake you.
I know you’d want me to, it’s true.
You care for me when I hurt, when I cry.
You hold me when I tell you I don’t want to try.
You ask me how my doctor appointments went.
You let me sleep when my body is spent.
You love me so much and I can do nothing.
Nothing to slow this rapid aging.
Nothing to hide my tears, my fears, my sadness and woe.
You read me like a book, how, I’ll never know.
I couldn’t lie if I tried, you know me too well.
I wish I could give you relief for a spell.